To: All Department Staff
From: The Secretary
Re: Eliminating Cl***** Ch****
As you know, it is this Administration’s policy to eliminate all references to Cl***** Ch**** from government documents. This policy has been unevenly implemented, but I have informed the President that we are adopting a zero-tolerance approach.
All use of the “double-c term” must now cease. This includes acronyms such as GCC or references to global w***ing. Disciplinary action will be taken against any employee violating this policy.
Unfortunately, it is sometimes necessary to refer to long-term trends in temperature or precipitation, if only because of the demands of certain left-wing judges. Such discussion should be avoided where possible. When avoidance is impossible, however, the preferred term is World-Wide Weather Averages and Variance Evolution, or WWWA-VE. For example, predictions of increases in average temperature over time may be discussed in this rubric. Under no circumstances should you revert to the Cl***** Ch**** or GCC terminology.
Use of the improved terminology is essential to avoid offense to sensitive audiences or encouragement to pro-regulatory zealots. The improved terminology will avoid these harmful effects.
This directive is effective immediately. Please use global search-and-replace to correct all existing documents. Questions may be directed to the Assistant Secretary for Policy.
As you know, confidentiality is a core responsibility of all employees. Leaks of this memo will be severely punished.
/s/ The Secretary