Halloween Hacks for a Warming Planet
Pretty or scary or brave? There’s a climate costume to suit all tastes and all ages.
Children will be roaming the streets tonight dressed as Superheroes, Princesses, and Evil Villains. But really, these invented figures can’t hold a candle to the real ones in our world. Consider
Continuing an ancient tradition — four years in a row! — here are some possibilities for this year. Not fitting neatly into any category are the Ghosts of Climate Past, Present, and Future, reminding us of what we’ve lost, where we are, and what we risk.
The Villains
Cruela de Coal. This is an easy make-over of the costume for the equally wicked Disney character. Just coat the costume with soot.
The Zinc Man. Like the Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz, is missing a heart. Wears a metallic costume with an EPA logo and a blindfold to avoid seeing any scientific evidence. Mutters obsessively, “Endangerment?? I don’t see no endangerment!.”
The Climate Troll. Prone to lurk under bridges and demand tariffs. Angry muttering is the key to this character. Start with “it’s a Chinese hoax,” then “they’re coming for your gas stove!.” Yell “WOKE! WOKE!” now and then for emphasis.
Bill the BIg Bad Beautiful Wolf. The word “Beautiful” in the name is meant to be ironic. His evil superpower is “rolling back” anyone wearing green, resulting in their high-speed collisions with buildings and other obstacles. Don’t believe him when he says his real name is “Reconciliation Bill.”
The Mad, Mad Methane Monster. This monster can cook your planet in virtually no time. Talk about a supervillain!
Zombie Wells. These inactive oil and gas wells are an ominous source of invisible pollution. Standard Zombie costume. Just add a cap with an oil company logo.
The Victims
The Endangered Mermaid. Like many ocean creatures, the Little Mermaid is now threatened by rising temperatures and ocean acidification. Wear a Little Mermaid costume but carry an icepack for the fever, a thermometer, and a big bottle of antacid.
Ghost Corals Bleached white and dead, is the look you’re going for here.
UNFROZEN. Dress like a giant ice cube, attach water-drop shapes, and drip water from a concealed container while trilling “drip. . .drip . . .drip.”
The Heroes
Buzz Windmill. Another costume conversion – take a Buzz Lightyear costume and glue cardboard turbine blades to the back. Buzz is constantly under attack by the Big Beautiful Orange Climate Troll.
Captain Renewable. Captain Renewable can take a shaft of sunlight or a summer breeze and turn them into electricity to zap enemies. What could be cooler?
Wonder Woman. The usual costume but with a Greta Thunberg mask.
TRICK OR TREAT!
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About Dan
Dan Farber has written and taught on environmental and constitutional law as well as about contracts, jurisprudence and legislation. Currently at Berkeley Law, he has al…
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You intellectuals are also villains because your efforts are failing to protect the human race in time to guarantee an acceptable quality of life for our newest generations:
“Despite high overall concern, the perceived urgency of climate change often shifts based on other issues. For example, recent Ipsos surveys found that while concern is high, climate change typically ranks lower than immediate concerns like inflation when people consider their voting decisions. In the U.S., Gallup polls show environmental concerns like drinking water and air pollution rank higher as priorities than climate change.”