Interview with a Yale “JD”

The climate is changing rapidly, but not as fast as some people’s views have U-turned.

The Scene: An imaginary recording studio in a secret location.

The Actors: A host and a guest you’ll never be able to identify.

Warning: Only the statements by the unnamed guest are real. The host is fictitious.

Host: Welcome to the podcast.

Guest:  Happy to be here.

Host:  I know you’re tired of getting questions about cat ladies. So let’s turn to another subject: climate change.

Guest:  Everything I’m going to say today I’ve said before. I’ll start with this:  “I’m skeptical of the idea that climate change is caused purely by man. The climate’s been changing, as others have pointed out, for millennia.”

Host: What do you think about the environmentalists’ view of the issue?

Guest:  Something else I’ve addressed before. Like I said then: “If they think climate change is caused by carbon emissions, then why is their solution to scream about it at the top of their lungs, send a ton of our jobs to China, and then manufacture these ridiculous ugly windmills all over Ohio farms that don’t produce enough electricity to run a cellphone on?”

Host: And your view about Biden’s energy policy?

Guest: You can look it up: His administration “has been doing everything it can to subsidize alternative energy sources and demonize our nation’s most reliable sources of power.”  Worse: “They’ve engaged in wanton harassment of fossil fuel companies, to the detriment of the American people.” You can quote me on that; the newspapers already have.

Host: And what about the Inflation Reduction Act? Prepared to say an elegy for that one?

Guest: Here’s what I said about that:  “It’s dumb, does nothing for the environment and will make us all poorer.”  Great phrasing, if I do say so myself.

Host:  Yeah, that Yale Law education really pays off. That reminds me, just a few years ago you said “we have a climate problem in our society” and praised solar power.

Guest: Yes I did.

Host: It’s good to see that you’re able to rethink old positions. Does that mean you’ve rethought your view about childless cat ladies?

Guest: Nope, haven’t rethought that one. But don’t get me wrong: I have nothing against cats.

Host: I guess we’re out of time. Our guest next week will be Hannibal Lecter, who demands to know why the boss of today’s guest is so obsessed with him.

[Host leaves to go home and feed her cats. Scene fades to black.]

2024 election, Climate Change, Climate Politics, environmental politics, renewable energy, Yale Law School